From This Day Forward: Fight Fair
January 31, 2021
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD – 2
Never Give Up
Everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19 (NIV)
GOD’S RULES FOR FIGHTING FAIR
1. LISTEN BETTER
Let everyone be quick to listen (v. 19a).
“People do not feel cared for until they feel listened to” – Carl George
A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his (or her) own mind. Proverbs 18:2 (NASB)
Another version says . . .
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (NIV)
2. GUARD YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak (v. 19b).
PRINCIPLE: The more you talk, the more you sin.
Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23 (NLT)
Some Things Should Never Be Said in Conflict:
- Never call names/insults
- Never raise your voice
- Never get historical/keep score
- Never use the words NEVER or ALWAYS
- Never threaten divorce – don’t even use the word
- Never quote your pastor during a fight
- Never compare your spouse to one of their parents
When we do decide after deliberation to speak . . .
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NASB)
3. HANDLE YOUR ANGER RIGHTEOUSLY
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (v.19c). NOTE: because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires (v.20).
26 In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 (NASB)
With Christ – all things are possible
With Christ – any marriage can be healed
With Christ – your marriage can be healed