Open Heart Church
Love Is… Pt 4 Love Is Not Rude
October 28, 2020

Love Is… Pt 4 Love Is Not Rude

October 28, 2020

Love Is Series

Pt. 4 Love Is Not Rude

1 Corinthians 13:5

THE – greatest commandment is what? Love!

Love God and Love people.

LOVE – is more important than; what you say, what you know, what you give or what you accomplish…

LOVE – is the greatest commandment.

IN FACT – the only thing that counts is faith expressing it self through love.

LOVE – is more important than; what you say, what you know, what you give or what you accomplish…

IN FACT – the only thing that counts is faith expressing it self through love.

Each week as we have talked about these powerful facets of love… love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, love is not proud I HAVE – outlined practical steps that you (and I) can take to grow in God’s kind of love, the only love that is worth giving.

Today… let’s look at 4 more words that Paul painted onto the canvas of 1 Corinthians 13…

FOUR WORDS – that will help us live out God’s kind of love…

“Love Is Not Rude…”

FOUR WORDS – that will help us live out God’s kind of love…

“Love Is Not Rude…”

Rude Defined: Schema – ‘a form or a plan’(without form, to behave in an unseemly, unsuitable, improper or unbecoming way)

here is how various Bible versions translate this word

love does not dishonor others (NIV)

love does not act unbecomingly (NASB)

love doth not behave itself unseemly (KJV)

love does not act improperly (HCSB)


love is not rude (NCV)


AND SO – from these renderings of the Greek word, we can begin to get a picture of what Paul was trying to say.

  • Love doesn’t act improperly, or dishonorably, or indecently.
  • Love doesn’t behave in an ugly or unbecoming manner.
  • Love doesn’t needlessly offend, or act bluntly or crudely.
  • Love does not behave gracelessly.
  • Love is not rude


Has anyone here ever been treated rudely?

If so, how does it make you feel?

Have you ever been rude to someone?

Okay so you know what you are doing to people when you behave that way.

Love is not rude!

AND THAT – is the facet of God’s kind of love we will look at this morning by unpacking 2 statements…


  • Why we should treat everyone with respect (which is the opposite of treating people rudely)


  • How to be a more respectful person

2 questions

#1 do you think rudeness is on the rise in our society?


#2 what are some behaviors that you find to be rude?


NOW – everyone felt it was getting worse…


  • Inconsiderate drivers


  • Cursing in public


  • Putting your phone on speaker and having a loud conversation


  • NOT – saying thank you, saying please, not holding doors open


  • Taking a close parking space when they see an elderly person waiting


  • Cutting in line at a at grocery store

2 questions

#1 do you think rudeness is on the rise in our society?


#2 what are some behaviors that you find to be rude?

    I don’t know about you but rudeness is something that gets under my skin pretty quickly. Why is that?

    BECAUSE – rudeness at it’s core results from a lack of respect for other people.

    YOU SEE – rudeness reveals that I couldn’t care less about you…

    THAT – you (your feelings) don’t really matter to me.

    THAT – I’m only thinking of myself.

    YEAH TRAGICALLY – the philosophy of far too many today is;

    ‘It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks or whether it hurts you or not…

    I’m going to do what I want to do,

    AND – I’m going to say (tweet, text, email, post comment) what I want to say.’

    BUT – the Bible says, “Love is not rude.”

    the Holy Spirit knew what He was doing when He guided Pauls pen across the canvas of 1 Cor 13… BECAUSE – rudeness… CREATES – so many other problems…


    IT – ignites so many other flames…


    QUESTION – can you think of any examples where rudeness has had a positive effect on anyone?

    IN FACT – Jesus addressed rudeness in the sermon on the mount when He condemned some of the common rude insults of His day…


    Here is how I want to approach our study today. YOU SEE – just as we overcome pride by being humble.


    WE – overcome rudeness by learning how to be respectful… Respect and rudeness are mutually exclusive.


    1 Peter 2:17; “Show proper respect for everyone. Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king”

    QUESTION – What is respect? ‘Respect is showing value and honor to others by our words and actions.’

    THEREFORE – when you dishonor or devalue a person, you have disrespected them, you have disregarded them, – not loved them – you have acted rude toward them…. And that is a sin.

    QUESTION – Do the people that you live, work, serve, go to church with and encounter on a regular basis feel better or worse after they’ve been with you or heard from you through an email, text, post, tweet, voice mail…etc.


    UNDERSTAND – this is one way to know whether or not you’re a respectful person. Do the people around you feel: inspired, valued, respected?

    OR – do they feel worse, diminished, unappreciated?

    1. Why We Should Treat Everyone With Respect…
      1. Because God Made everybody
        1. So created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him… – Gen 1:27
      2. Because Christ Died For Everyone
        1. The love of Christ controls us, because we know that One died for all… – 2 Corinthians 5:14,15
      3. Because God Commands It
        1. Peter 2:17 he says, “Show proper respect for everyone.”
      4. Because it minimizes conflict
        1. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words make tempers flare. – Proverbs 15:1
      5. Because we always get back what you give.
        1. Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”
        2. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. – Matthew 7:12
      6. Because Rude Christians Hurt The Cause of Christ
        1. Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should. – Colossians 4:5,6
        2. QUESTION – do you want strong and deep relationships, do you want to live out God’s kind of love…
    • AGAIN – just like we overcome pride with humility we overcome rudeness with respect.

    WHICH – brings us to POINT 2 in your notes

    1. How To Be A More Respectful Person…
      1. R.E.S. P.E.C.T.
        1. R – Remember to STOP Before you Speak
          1. A harsh word makes tempers flare…” Pr 15:1
          2. QUESTION – are you ever rude with your words…?


    1. HAVE YOU – ever disrespected someone with your words?
    2. Even fools seem to be wise if the keep quiet, if they don’t speak they appear to understand… – Pr 17:28


    1. Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. – Proverbs 21:23


    1. While We are Silent there are 2 Things We Can Do


    1. Listen


    1. He who answers before listening, that is his folly and his shame… – Proverbs 18:13


    1. Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak… – James 1:19


    • Listen to the pain behind the rudeness


    1. Think
      1. There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking. – Pr 29:20
      2. Kind words bring life but cruel words crush your spirit. Proverbs 15:4
    • QUESTION – has your spirit ever been crushed by someone’s words (spoken, tweeted, texted, posted, email)?


    1. Have YOU – ever crushed someone’s spirit with your words? THINK – about the words you spoke to other people this past week… DID THEY – crush or did they give life?


    1. UNDERSTAND – your words can be either a healing stream or a deadly poison.


    1. THEY – can add value or take value away….HAVE YOU – ever met anybody who was proud of their rudeness? “I just tell it like it is and let the chips fall!”


    1. IN EPHESIANS – 4:29 Paul gives what I think is the best advice on what we should be asking ourselves while we are in ‘the silent’ mode… Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…
      1. Is what I am going to say going build them up or tear them down?


    1. Is what I’m about to say going to help or hurt the relationship?
    2. What is the motive?


    1. Why am I saying this? Is it just to vent my anger.
    2. REMEMBER – to stop before you speak and when you do your words will start to be respectful and will become like the words Solomon described in Proverbs 16.


    1. “Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Pr 16:24 (NLT)


    1. E- Educate Those You Love to be Respectful
      1. Parents, don’t be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord. – Eph 6:4
      2. I can’t believe the way I hear some kids talk to their parents and to other adults… “Thank you, please, excuse me, yes sir, yes maam” — are words that are not often spoken today…
    2. S – Serve Others
      1. when we yield our rights and serve someone – we really make that person feel like they matter… They feel respected… Do you think the disciples felt valued and respected when Jesus washed their feet? OF COURSE – they did.
      2. we as followers of Christ… are part of the family and servants of not just ‘a king’ BUT – of the King of kings…the one who is Sovereign and reigns in the Ultimate court, and we therefore. Expected to follow a higher standard…
        1. Examples:
          1. Holding the door open for someone
          2. Helping someone carry something
          3. Letting someone go first, getting them a drink, taking their plate
          4. Saying (thank you, please, yes sir, yes mam)
          5. Listening to the person who is talking to or teaching you without having your phone in your face, being on time,
        2. P – Promises Are Meant To Be Kept
          1. People who promise things that they never give are like clouds and wind that bring no rain. – Proverbs 25:14
            1. HAVE – you ever had someone break a promise to you?


    1. DID THAT – make you feel honored and respected, or did it make you feel discounted and disrespected?


    1. LISTEN – one of the ways we respect people and ride the waves of a love worth living is when we keep our promises. THAT’S – one of the reasons I feel so valued and respected by God… EVERY – promise He’s ever made, He’s kept.


    • UNDERSTAND – God promised throughout the O.T. that He would send a savior who’d forgive us of our sins and provide a way to restore our relationship with God. And Jesus Christ fulfilled that promise. He – lived, died, rose again AND is coming back one day to take those who have surrendered to Him home….



    1. BY THE WAY – this one of the reasons we take communion, to remember His Promise… whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes – 1 Cor 11:26
    1. E – Employ The Romans 12 Principle
      1. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable…Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good. – Romans 12:17,20
        1. Whenever you respond to rudeness it only makes things worse.
          1. The key here is to learn to Act not to react. Two wrongs don’t make a right
        2. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. – 1 John 3:14
      2. C – Clean Up After Yourself
        1. Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.Matthew 7:12
          1. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
        2. T – Treat Everyone The Same
          1. The bible says in Acts 10:34 that, “God is no respecter of persons.
          2. Do you treat everyone the same?
    • Are there some people who you would never even consider being rude to you? AND – are there some people that being rude to, is almost second nature to you?
    1. Why is that?
    2. Let’s REPENT of acting this way, because if we do not we will never live out God’s kind of love… As God says in James 2:1;
    3. My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people more than others. – James 2:1
    • Conclusion
      1. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. – IS WHAT God is asking of you & me.
        1. Respect is most definitely what Jesus gave to each and every one of us when he choose to die on a blood stained cross for us. THE CROSS is the greatest symbol of respect in all of human history.
        2. JESUS – is not impolite and rude, he always knocks before entering…


    • YOU SEE – there are 2 things that Jesus is not going to do…
      1. Force his way into your life

    1. Force His ways into your life

    1. But He is offering you a better way to live and to love…Love Is…

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