How to Have a Good Fight
September 4, 2022 / Crossroads ChurchPhilippines 4:2
“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the
Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have
contended at my side in the cause of the Gospel”
GODLY RESPONSES TO CONFLICT:
1) Go to
John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world
gives”
2) TAKE TIME TO COOL OFF
Proverbs 29:11
“A fool gives vent to their anger, but a wise person keeps themselves under control”
Proverbs 14:17
“People with hot tempers do foolish things”
3) DON’T LET THE FRUSTRATION
Ephesians 4:26
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”
4) HAVE , , AND AS YOUR GOAL
God blesses those who work for peace, because they will be called the children of God” Mt. 5:9 NLT
WHAT PEACEMAKING IS NOT:
A) Peacemaking isn’t avoiding conflict
B) PEACEMAKING ISN’T APPEASEMENT
A fact about peacemakers:
THEY CARE MORE ABOUT THE THAN THEY DO ABOUT THE
5) TRULY LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON
James 1:19-21
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick
to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger
does not produce the righteousness that God desires”
James 1:19
“Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear”
6) WHEN YOU address a problem/frustration: LEAD WITH LOVE, NOT WITH ANGER
Proverbs 30:33
“For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
7) WHEN SOMEONE ADDRESSES YOU WITH HOSTILITY RESPOND WITH LOVE, NOT ANGER
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper fire”
8) FIGHT FARE
ACTIONS THAT NEED TO BE UNACCEPTABLE:
- ATTACKING THE PERSON RATHER THAN THE ISSUE
- WIDEN THE ISSUE
- USING NUCLEAR WORDS
- USING PERSONAL ATTACK WORDS
- USING ABSOLUTE WORDS
- USING THREATENING WORDS
Don’t just PAY ATTENTION to what you say, PAY ATTENTION TO how you say it
10) Confess your part of the conflict
11) BE WILLING TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, AND BE WILLING TO FORGIVE
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”
TAKE THE INITIATIVE
“If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” Matt. 5:23-24 (Msg)