You and Me Forever

1. Francis and Lisa Chan filmed this series in their garage to communicate that they too have to work on their marriage and struggle every day against sin. They wanted the background to “reflect who we are—people in process.” Why is it important for us, in this small group, to likewise be honest about our own lives and marriage relationships? How can we create an environment where people feel safe to be authentic?
   
2. Francis and Lisa mentioned that one of the primary reasons they wrote You and Me Forever was to encourage people to look at their marriage with an eternal perspective. How does looking at your marriage in light of eternity change your perspective?
   
3. Understanding we are here for a brief period of time should change everything about our lives; we should invest our marriages on things that matter for eternity. How are you currently “investing your marriage”? What might have to change in order for you to invest your marriage in things of eternal value?
   
4. Read 2 Peter 3:10–12. How do these verses impact the way we live in marriage? 
   
   
5. Read Philippians 2:12–13 and 2 Peter 1:5–8. What do these verses teach us about our responsibility in our marriage relationship? 
   
   
6. In the book Francis and Lisa write, “…our marriage problems are not really marriage problems. They are heart problems. They are God problems. Our lack of intimacy with God causes a void that we try to fill with the frailest of substitutes. Like wealth or pleasure. Like fame or respect. Like people. Like marriage.” (pg. 27) In the video we just watched, Francis mentioned that life really isn’t about us or our marriages. Everything, including our marriage, should bring glory to God. Does your marriage bring glory to God? Why or why not? What does a marriage that brings glory to God look like?

7. Francis and Lisa ended this video session talking primarily about our priorities. Lisa said, “Think about marriage and life. Who are we here for? Who put us here and designed us and designed marriage, for His glory, for His purposes? It’s not about us. I think we just want you to pause, and change your thinking a little bit…what does God want? Let’s just think about God for a minute, because this is all about His glory.” Take a moment to honestly consider this next question. Is God your first priority, even over your marriage?

8. Read James 1:22. How will your actions change this coming week because of what you heard and studied today?
   
   **Next session will cover Chapter 2 in the book. You can find a free download of this on the Church Center app!

Jesus’ Farewell Message

MAIN IDEA: The truths of God are both an invitation into the fullness of life Jesus promises and a challenge to leave behind all our comfortable half-loves.

Head Change: To know that Jesus loves you beyond what you could hope or imagine.

Heart Change: To love others in the way that Jesus loves us.

Life Change: To practice the truths Jesus teaches, specifically in lovingly serving others in the way that Jesus serves us.

1. What is the best invitation you have ever received? Did you accept the invitation? Why or why not?
   
2. Francis started this session with a challenge: God wants to take you deep into the riches of truth, growing your faith and giving you a greater taste of His presence in your life. But we often prefer to stay in places of spiritual comfort. Why do you think it can be difficult for us to live in uncertainty or “by faith”?
   
3. What do you think it could look like for you to trust God as you go through this series despite the discomfort following Jesus might cause? 
   
   
4. Read John 13:1. The first thing we notice about Jesus is His love for His disciples. Whom in your life do you love “to the very end”? Do you believe that God’s love is at least that strong for you? Why, or why not?
   
   
5. God loves you more deeply than we often dare to think. We know God loves us as a piece of trivia but, deep in our hearts, we can doubt that He really loves us, flaws and all. What do you think God sees when He looks at you? Do you imagine Him as disappointed and angry or as loving you? Why?
   
   
6. Read John 13:3-5. What is the significance of Jesus washing His disciples’ feet?
   
   
7. Read John 13:12-14. In what ways does Jesus’ service reveal the depth of His love for you?
   
   
8. When Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, He was also modeling how we should love one another. Love is more than a fluttering feeling; it should push us to serve one another. Do you think it is possible to love someone without serving them? Why, or why not?
   
   
9. Read John 13:34-35. It is easy to say we love people, but serving others is difficult. Take a moment to answer the questions Francis asked us in the video. Are you a servant? Would the people that are watching this with you say that you are a servant? Would the people closest to you talk about how you serve them?
   
   
10. When can it be difficult for you to serve others? In what ways does love overcome our excuses for not serving others?
    
    
11. Read 1 Corinthians 10:16–17. What do you think it means to “share” or “participate” in the body of Christ, or the community of Christians?
    
    
12. Read John 13:21. Francis challenged us to think of what “silver”—the alternative sources of peace, security, or comfort—we might choose over fully trusting Jesus. What kinds of things do we turn to when we feel like Jesus’ promises aren’t worth waiting for? What “silver” might we need to give up so that we can faithfully follow Jesus?
    
    

The Cost of Control

MAIN IDEA: When we know that God is our true source of security, we won’t give in to the false sense of wellbeing, power, and peace that control offers us.

Head Change: To understand how our control negatively impacts our lives.

Heart Change: To feel confident in relinquishing control to God.

Life Change: To entrust our lives to God by focusing on the truth of His Word.

1. How did you handle group projects in grade school? What kind of group member were you?
   
2. Sharon opened the session by explaining the “Faustian Bargain,” which is a term that came from an ancient story. Faust made a deal with the devil to freely indulge in his fleshly desires, but his bargain came at a cost. He ended up losing much more than he gained—his bargain cost him his life. How do Faustian Bargains relate to the theme of control?
   
3. When playing golf, you must have complete control over everything—your technique, your swing, your follow-through. The control Brynn had in playing golf bled into her everyday life. What areas of your life—whether it’s your job, a sport, a hobby, or even your family—do you find yourself trying to control the most? 
   
   
4. What’s something that’s happened in your life that proved you weren’t in control? How did you react when you realized you were not in control?
   
   
5. Brynn was caught in a cycle of anxiety because of her desire for control. Sharon said, “Whenever we reach for control, it always comes with a cost.” In what way has controlling behavior cost you something—such as a friendship, career, or rest? What was the outcome?
   
   
6. Sharon pointed out that it’s Satan’s goal to make us think we should fear our limitations, boundaries, or lack of knowledge. It’s a deception that keeps us from entrusting ourselves to God’s infinite control. What are some of your own limitations that you wrestle with? What could it look like to invite God into those limitations?
   
   
7. When we try to control everything around us, we’re really searching for a way to have security, power, and peace. But God is the only one who gives us the peace we desire. When have you used control to create a sense of peace? What could it look like for you to trust God to give you peace?
   
   
8. Read Genesis 3:4-5. Satan lied profoundly—he tempted Eve and Adam to think that any God-given rules, boundary lines, or limitation in knowledge are something to fear. Believing this lie leads us to try to control everything in our lives, which is what Adam and Eve did. How do you typically react when someone tries to limit your control through rules and boundaries? Do you welcome limitations or fear them? Why?
   
   
9. Read Genesis 3:7-10. When Adam and Eve realized they were naked, they tried to take control of their situation by sewing fig leaves together. Similarly, we find ourselves in plenty of situations that we try to fix once we experience the consequences of our actions. Like Adam and Eve, when have you tried to fix a situation by trying to gain even more control? What was the outcome?
   
   
10. The more we realize that God is in control, the less we will try to control our surroundings and the less anxious we will be. What could it look like for you to be honest with God about your desire for control? How will you make an intentional effort to give that desire to Him?