Lesson 9 – How To Avoid Arguments

BOOK OF JAMES 

DEVELOPING A FAITH THAT WORKS

Lesson 9

HOW TO AVOID ARGUMENTS

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”    James 4:1-10  

1. The cause of all arguments is .

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?”    James 4:1 

Three basic desires cause arguments:

• The desire (possessions)

“You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”  James 4:2

• The desire (pleasure)

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”   James 4:3

• The desire (pride or power)

“Pride leads to arguments; be humble, take advice, and become wise.”   Proverbs 13:10 (LB)

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”  James 4:6

2. The cure for arguments is .

     “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”       James 4:6-8, 10  

Steps to defusing conflict

“Submit yourselves, then, to God.”    James 4:7a

“Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”   James 4:7b

“in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”   2 Corinthians 2:11

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.”   James 4:8a

“He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord!”   Isaiah 26:3 (LB)

“Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”  James 4:8b   

 “Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done.”   James 4:9a (LB)