Lies that Obstruct God’s Plan for Marriage

May 5, 2021   /   Hudson View Baptist Church

Lies that Obstruct God’s Plan for Marriage


Marriage Originated With God!

God instituted marriage at the Garden of Eden:

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:18-24)

*Deception concerning God’s intentions for marriage is one of Satan’s greatest to destroy marriages.


Four Destructive Lies About Marriage:

1. I have to have a spouse to be happy.

-This lie is a distortion of truth:

  • Marriage is good and right
  • Marriage is God’s plan for most people
  • There is great joy and blessing in a God-centered marriage

*Satan twists these truths and we buy into lies when we believe that the purpose of marriage is to fulfill and make us .

-Variation of this lie: My spouse is supposed to make me happy.

-Truth: our ultimate purpose is to God (whether you are single, married, or even if your spouse doesn’t do what you want them to do).

-Having a spouse is not necessary for happiness.

*Happiness is not found in any human relationship—True joy can only be found in/through .

-3 Resetting Truths:

  • God has promised to give us we need.
    • Romans 8:32, He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
  • Contentment is not found in having what we think we need, but in to be satisfied with God’s provision.
    • Philippians 4:12-13, I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
  • Insistence on having one’s own way usually leads to heartache, while on the Lord always gets His best.
    • Isaiah 40:31, But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


2. It is my responsibility to my spouse.

The instinct to fix our spouse seems almost irresistible, but inevitably leads to frustration and conflict.

-In the context of marriage, this lie takes the focus off of a [spouse’s] own needs and [their] own walk with the Lord—which [they] can do something about. Further, it places [their] focus on someone else’s failures and needs—which [they may be able to do very little, if anything, about. The fact is, [they] cannot change [their spouse’s] (or children’s) heart. However, [they can cooperate with the Holy Spirit in changing [their] own heart.

-Changing your spouse is a responsibility God intended you to have—can lead to frustration and resentment toward your spouse and even God!

-God has given 2 powerful weapons for change that are hugely more effective than whining, nagging, or preaching:

  • A Life – 1 Peter 3:1-4, Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
  • – appealing to a Higher Power to act in your spouse’s life – Philippians 4:6, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

*It is far more effective for a spouse to appeal to the Lord to change their spouse than to exert on them directly.


3. If I to my husband, I’ll be miserable.

-Challenging the God-ordained practice of submission was at the heart of Satan’s temptation of Eve – Does God have the right to rule your life? You can run your own life; you don’t have to submit to anyone else’s authority.

Satan knows that if we could see the Truth about submission—one of the most liberating principles in all of God’s Word—we would joyfully embrace it. He cannot afford to let us choose the pathway of submission, for if we do, he is stripped of his authority and rendered powerless in our lives and in the lives of those we love.

-Lies about submission:

  • The wife is to her husband. – 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
  • As head of his wife, the husband is permitted to be or dictatorial with his wife. – Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
  • The wife is not to provide input or express her to her husband. – Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
  • The husband is right. 1 Peter 3:1-2, Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

*God’s purpose for authority is to provide spiritual covering and protection.

-When we place ourselves under the spiritual covering of the authorities God has placed in our lives, God us. (excl. extreme situations)

-The fundamental issue in relation to submission really comes down to my willingness to trust God and to place myself under His authority.

-Proverbs 21:1, The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

  • Our willingness to place ourselves under God-ordained authority is the greatest evidence of how we believe God really is.


4. Love doesn’t require spoken words.

-Love is more than just acts of service, it’s also of affection.

  • Speak more than you think you should.
  • If you have a kind thought, it.

-Proverbs 16:24, Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

Assignment: Say I love you and speak one kind thing to them each day for the next week.

*Study from Lies Men Believe by Robert Wolgemuth & Lies Women Believe by Nancy D. Wolgemuth


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