Homebuilders — Anger Danger
July 8, 2020
-Most people who struggle with anger management readily acknowledge their anger problem – The heart knoweth his own bitterness (Prov. 14:10)
-Anger wreaks havoc in family relationships in ways. — A wrathful (angry) man stirreth up strife: (Prov. 15:18)
I. Anger is a Personal Problem
-There are generally two extremes in sinful anger (see chart):
-Anger generally manifests it self in:
1. Internalization – Clam-Up
-Examples: emotional withdrawal, crying, , sulking, retreating to another room/location, cold shoulder, etc.
2. Ventilation – Blow-Up
–A fool uttereth all his mind (Prov. 29:11)
-Examples: , name calling, profanity, throwing, hitting, kicking things, biting sarcasm, acts of vengeance.
*Some people respond with a of clamming up & blowing up.
-You need to acknowledge your tendencies and your specific manifestations of anger.
2. is Key
-You will never solve your anger problems without making it your goal to become proficient in communication skills.
-Christians are commanded to communicate in at least 45 different ways in the New Testament epistles alone!
-There are 3 parts to communication (see chart ):
Eliminating Anger from Communication
-With words…people can be motivated, encouraged, pierced, or
-With words…conflicts can be resolved and people’s problems be solved
-With words…precise meaning is communicated
-With words…God Himself to man
-With words…we communicate the Gospel to others
-With words…our minds comprehend the truth of God
-With the words of Scripture…which have been internalized by the Christian, the Holy Spirit works to transform our lives into the image of Christ
-With words…the man of God brings doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness
-With words…man will be
-With words…man will be condemned
*If there’s ever a time when a believer should what he is going to say, it is in those circumstances when he is most likely to become angry.
-When a person is angry, they’re at greatest risk of sinning with their words.
-(Prov. 15:28) The heart of the righteous studieth to answer
-(Prov. 16:23) The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth
B. Tone of Voice
-Often, tone of voice communicates anger than words themselves.
-Some experts say tone is 7 times more powerful than words.
-(Phil. 4:5) Let your moderation (gentleness) be known unto all men.
-(Prov. 15:1) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
-(Prov. 16:24) Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
C. Non-Verbal Communication
-i.e. facial expressions, , eye contact, posture, spatial relationship, and touch
-So much communication is non-verbal (pride, anger, bitterness, fear, sensuality, rebellion, guilt, selfishness)
-The greatest challenge in non-verbal communication is that we are largely that we are doing it.
-(Eccl. 8:1) …a man’s wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the boldness of his face shall be changed.
-(Prov. 6:12-14) A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth. He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers; Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord.
*Taken from The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo