How to Have a Good Fight

Philippines  4:2

“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the 

  Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have 

  contended at my side in the cause of the Gospel”

GODLY RESPONSES TO CONFLICT:

1) Go to

John 14:27

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world 

  gives”

2) TAKE TIME TO COOL OFF

Proverbs 29:11

“A fool gives vent to their anger, but a wise person keeps themselves under control”

Proverbs 14:17

“People with hot tempers do foolish things”

3) DON’T LET THE FRUSTRATION

Ephesians 4:26

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” 

4) HAVE , , AND  AS YOUR GOAL

God blesses those who work for peace, because they will be called the children of God” Mt. 5:9 NLT

WHAT PEACEMAKING IS NOT:

A) Peacemaking isn’t avoiding conflict

B) PEACEMAKING ISN’T APPEASEMENT

A fact about peacemakers:

THEY CARE MORE ABOUT THE THAN THEY DO ABOUT THE

5) TRULY LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON

James 1:19-21

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick 

 to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger 

 does not produce the righteousness that God desires”

James 1:19

“Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear” 

6) WHEN YOU address a problem/frustration: LEAD WITH LOVE, NOT WITH ANGER

Proverbs 30:33 

“For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”

7) WHEN SOMEONE ADDRESSES YOU WITH HOSTILITY RESPOND WITH LOVE, NOT ANGER

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper fire” 

8) FIGHT FARE

ACTIONS THAT NEED TO BE UNACCEPTABLE:

1. ATTACKING THE PERSON RATHER THAN THE ISSUE
2. WIDEN THE ISSUE
3.  USING NUCLEAR WORDS
4. USING PERSONAL ATTACK WORDS 
5. USING ABSOLUTE WORDS
6. USING THREATENING WORDS

Don’t just PAY ATTENTION to what you say, PAY ATTENTION TO how you say it

10) Confess your part of the conflict

11) BE WILLING TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, AND BE WILLING TO FORGIVE

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”

TAKE THE INITIATIVE

“If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right.  Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” Matt. 5:23-24 (Msg)