HOW TO WIN AT DATING & MARRIAGE _ Dating & Marriage Series

SERIES: DATING & MARRIAGE

TOPIC: HOW TO WIN AT DATING & MARRIAGE: UNRAVELING THE BIGGEST LIES ABOUT DATING

1 I speak in the tongues a of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  3 I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 CORINTHIANS 13:1-13)

TWO LIES THAT WILL KEEP YOU FROM HAVING A SUCCESSFUL AND FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP

LIE #1: It’s my life

 “you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:20)

PURPOSE of DATING:

o    The purpose of dating is to find someone to marry.

WHEN is the right age to start dating?

o    This should be based on your level of maturity NOT because your friends are getting married, or your parents want you to get married.

o    Maturity occurs over time which is why Paul gives us a detailed list of what to work on as we mature to become the person who is ready to date.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11 – 11)

Does God care about “WHO” you date and marry?

o    Yes, God cares about who you date and marry

o    God has a problem with ANYTHING or ANYONE that will turn your attention away from Him. He says this in:

3 Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4 for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you. (Deuteronomy 7:3-4)

Warning Against Idolatry: 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

· Does God care about “HOW” you date?

o    The bible doesn’t offer specific rules BUT teach about avoiding sexual immorality in any relationship that is NOT marriage

You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. (1 Corinthians 6:13 – 13)

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22 – 22)

LIE #2: I just haven’t found the right person –

Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house. (Proverbs 24:27 – 27)

HOW DO YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON:

BECOME THE RIGHT PERSON THROUGH:

o    Life Change:

A.  Love God (Put God FIRST)

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ (Mark 12:30 30)

B.  Ask God for help

C.  Seek Gods will for your life

D.  Work on yourself

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11)

o    Friendship Change:

A.  Keep Good Company

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

B.  Be accountable: Lean on people who know you best, love you most and will tell you when you’re wrong –

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. (Ecclesiastics 4:9-10)

o    Prioritize personal Change:

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. (Psalm 37:5–7 5)

14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. (1 John 5:14-15)

PRAYER:

Dear God, thank you for loving me. Prepare me and shape me into the godly person I need to be
so that I can become ready to date a godly person. Continue to work in me and take me out of my comfort zone and closer to you. Today, I pray for my future spouse, protect him/ her and guide him/her closer to you as well, so that when we meet, we are ready for each other! Lord, I confess, I’m not good at relationships, but you are! Please help me to quickly discern between the right person and wrong person. Please give me contentment while I’m alone and wisdom when I date. You know the desires of my heart; I ask you to guide me along the way. Help me to honor you with my actions and my conversations as I date. Help me to resist temptation and to be an example of you! In Jesus Name, Amen!