BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES Part 4: How To Have Healthy Family Conflict

Romans 12:2 

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Four Causes of Conflict

1. Poor communication

2. Unfulfilled Expectations

Proverbs 13:12 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick…

3. Despising Differences

Mark 3:25 

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

4. Sin Nature

Romans 3:23 

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Ecclesiastes 3:1 

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens

Ecclesiastes 3:5 

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them…

Genesis 31:46 

He said to his relatives, “Gather some stones.” So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap.

Conflict cannot continue without my participation.

Galatians 2:20 

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. 

1 Corinthians 15:31

I face death every day…

Conflict can’t continue without my participation

1. I will act, not react.

Ephesians 4:26-27 

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

2. I will focus on the good things in you. 

Philippians 4:8 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

3. I will apply God’s grace to you.

Romans 12:19-21 

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

4. I will remember God’s grace to me.

1 John 4:8-11 

The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.