Bonita Valley Community Church
Real Christianity Part 3: Connecting Choices!
October 10, 2021

Real Christianity Part 3: Connecting Choices!

October 10, 2021

James 1:19-20 (NLT)

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.





Be quick to … listen

Be slow to … speak

Be slow to … get angry





Connecting Choice #1: Develop Listening !





(1) The best listeners listen slowly.





Mark 5:33 (CEV)

She came shaking with fear and knelt down in front of Jesus. Then she told him the whole story.





(2) The best listeners look at the person talking to them.





Mark 10:21 (NIV)

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”





According to Communication Experts:

    • Words comprise 7% of communication! (What we say!)
    • Tone of voice accounts for 38% of communication! (How we say it!)
    • Body Language (non-verbal actions) conveys 55% of a person’s message! (How we act!)




(3) The best listeners don’t interrupt, period.





Proverbs 18:13 (MSG)
Answering (interrupting) before listening is both stupid and rude.





(4) The best listeners ask clarifying questions.





(5) The best listeners delay judgements.





John 7:24 (NIV)

Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.”





2 Corinthians 5:16 (MSG)

We don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know.





Connecting Choice #2: Before Talking!





Proverbs 16:23 (GN) —

Intelligent people think before they speak. What they say is then more persuasive.





Is this something I should say?





Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) —

Do not let any unwholesome (abusive or foul) talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.





Is this the right time to say it?





Is this the best way to say it?





Is this the right person to share this with?





Why do I talk too quickly and too much?





Proverbs 17:27 (TEV)
Those who are sure of themselves do not talk all the time. People who stay calm have real insight.





Luke 6:45 (NIV)
“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”





Connecting Choice #3: Your Anger!





Ephesians 4:26 (MSG)
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry.





Proverbs 14:29 (MSG)

Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.

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