Abiding Word Church
Our Imperfect Family Pt 3 – Conflict
June 13, 2021

Our Imperfect Family Pt 3 – Conflict

June 13, 2021



Romans 12:2 NLT  Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. 

1 Corinthians 7:28 NLT  “However, those who get married at this time will have troubles . . .”

Good relationships are possible but not .

Unless we are our marriages and family relationships will deteriorate over time.

 Four Causes of Conflict 

  • Poor


Psalm 141:3 NIV   Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. 

  • Unfulfilled


James 4:1-2 NLT  What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?  You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it.

  • Despising


Mark 3:25 NKJV   And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

  • nature. 


Romans 3:23 NLT   For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 

Four Ways to Deal with Conflict

  1. way. 
  2. way.
  3. way. 
  4. way. 


Matthew 6:33 AMP  But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Conflict cannot continue without my

Galatians 2:20  NLT   My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

A Pre-Fight Game Plan

  1. We will not react. 


Ephesians 4:26-27 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

a.  Never put it .                                                                                                                                                                     b.  Never call .                                                                                                                                                         c.  Never raise your .                                                                                                                                               d.  Never get .                                                                                                                                                    e.  Never say “never” or “always.” 



  1. Rarely Factual.
  2. You disqualify all of the good with the bad.
  3. Causes your partner to forfeit and not try.



f. Never .

g. Never threaten .


2. We will on the things in each another. 


Philippians 4:8-9 NLT  And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

3. We God’s grace.  


We want to be judged by our intentions not our actions while judging others by their actions and not their intentions.

Romans 12:19-21 NLT  Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” 21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Luke 6:37-38 NLT “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

4. We’ll like God loves us. 


a. Love never fails, but fail to love.

b. Love applied heals the .


1 John 4:8-11 MSG  The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. 

This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.

  • We’re to work things out peacefully, personally, & privately.


“Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” Ronald Reagan


a. We own our stuff.


b. We call “” if tempers rise.


c. We put “we” before “me” and agree to disagree.


d. We’re quick to apologize.


e. We’re quick to forgive.


f. We’re quick to the relationship.


1 Peter 5:8 NLT Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.


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