Mind Matters Pt. 4 Good Grief
Ecclesiastes 7:1-14
I. INTRODUCTION
It is our goal to take of our congregants one Heart at a time but we want you to do some self care for yourself and that is taking care of your mind. Take this series and use some of the Nuggets and apply them in your life. Self care is the best care. You can’t help no one else if you haven’t taken care of yourself.
Defining Grief: Grief signifies pain of the spirit, soul and body; grieving is a time to embrace sorrow and loss.
Grieving is a normal process following a loss and is not a sign of weakness. Grieving should not be done totally alone everyone needs comfort from a close friend, a pastor, or a counselor as they go through the process of grieving.
Grief is part of life. It is experience when we go through loss, or change. It’s not just about loss but change as well. Instead of avoiding we need to learn how to grow and heal. Learning how to acknowledge, discuss, and embrace the pain instead of pushing away and suppress. We have to give ourselves permission to feel these emotions. There is a parallel with growth and grief. You will always see them together. Grief just doesn’t come in sorrow but also seasons of growth. In this transition you have to transform from who I use to be to who I am now. There can be beauty in the process.
II. 4 REASONS WHY LEANING INTO GRIEF CAN BE AN ACT OF SELF-CARE
- IT HELPS US PROCESS AND HEAL FROM OUR EMOTIONS
- We feel it but we do not let it overcome us
- We move forward
- IT ALLOWS US TO CONNECT WITH
- We have to have connections
- It affords us to find support and discover new people in our life
- IT HELPS US BUILD RESILIENCE
- Gives you the opportunity to discover a new you
- Gives you the ability to bounce back
- IT PROMOTES SELF-AWARENESS
- It helps us to learn who we are
- It helps make us aware of our thoughts, actions, and behviors
III. WHAT DOES THE WORD SAY ABOUT GRIEF AND SELF-CARE?
Mark 12:30-31 NIV
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Love as- in order to be something to others we have to do it to ourselves in order to do it to ourself we have to do it with God. Show ourselves some grace. Order; God – Self- Others. When we break this order we set ourselves up to be broken. This is due to the Lack of boundaries.
When we say we will get to ourselves eventually it sounds good but if now never replaces eventually, now will never come. We will suffer. If you don’t grieve unmet needs or go through the process you will start searching out or straying out for what you lost. How do I take myself for granted?
Psalm 22:1 NIV
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
This is the sense of abandonment. Why is this happening to me? Learning the process of grief
Psalm 22:24 NIV
For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.
God hears you cry, and your hurt you just have to embrace the help.
Job 13:17-22 Job shows us by being honest, Open, and applying how to deal with grief.
- ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR GRIEF
Ecclesiastes 7:7
Grief can take a toll on you emotionally physically and spiritually. Feel your emotions and talk through them. Journal, friend, coach, counselor
- 1. Shock*- a sudden upsetting or surprising event or experience that effects your emotions
- 2. Anger*- Being upset, feeling a strong resentment, annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Who do you blame?
- 3. Sadness*- The feelings of sorrow, regret, loss
- *can create or add more problems if you cycle like( numbness, I don’t care mentality, addictions)
- 4. Face the Lost- Feel it to Forgive it
B. PRIORITIZE SELF-COMPASSION
Ecclesiastes 7:8-10
Be gentle with yourself. Have some compassion for yourself. We Get tired of crying but don’t bully yourself. It’s a healing cycle
- Forgiveness- the greatest place of pain is where we start forgiving.
- John 3:16 I’m accepting the blood of Jesus
- 2 Corinthians 12:9 His Grace is sufficient. When I am weak He is strong.
C. ENGAGE IN SELF-SOOTHING ACTIVITIES
Take a walk. Listen to music, pray, find something to ground you
-
- 6. Release- I’m releasing my loss and my replacements, I’m releasing my expectations of what I wanted it to be. Im destroying the “maybe” mentality
- 7. Recognizing the Loss- it happened, there’s nothing I can do to change it, how can I use this to grow?
- 8. Final Release (New Declarations) – God will give me beauty for my ashes
- MAINTAIN HEALTHY HABITS
- Acceptance (Peace) – Embrace life with changes
- Ecclesiastes 7:11-14
- Philippians 4:7
Take care of yourself physically
E. SEEK SUPPORT FROM OTHERS
Reach one and teach. You need to be part of something. Being around something healthy helps you. Find ways to honor the growth in the midst of lost
Key Points
Psalm 34:18
- Call out to God.
- When someone says hey how are you doing tell them the truth.
- Mind your mental health. It’s important to make it intentional. Make a plan and prioritize. It’s time to stop hearing it’s time to be doers of His word.