Cultivating Safe Spaces
Proverbs 18:1-2
- INTRODUCTION
There is a Downward spiral when we pull back. We get depressed, angry, and lonely. the enemy starts pulling you down and influence your mind. Much like when you have an abuser and a victim in a domestic violence relationship. Text book pattern of an abuser is they start to pull the victim back from their loved ones. Oh they don’t love you like I do, oh I don’t really like them, they don’t care about you, you need to be with me all the time, lets just be together its just me and you against the world. He doesn’t want you to hear another voice because he wants to abuse you. He doesn’t want anyone to make you see you don’t deserve to be treated like that. This is what mental sickness does to us.
Proverbs 18:1-2
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment He who willfully separates and estranges himself [from God and man] seeks his own desire and pretext to break out against all wise and sound judgment. 2 A [self-confident] fool has no delight in understanding but only in revealing his personal opinions and himself.
It is Not Gods will to be isolated.
How do we Cultivate a Safe Space?
- Cultivate: To prepare and use (land) for crops or gardening, try to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill), try to win the friendship or favor of (someone).
- Safe Space: A place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.
A place you don’t have to be in your feelings, Neither are harassed by others that can trigger you or your insecurities
II. CULTIVATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
Many have been hurt, offended and have experienced some type of trauma. Go back to the instruction manuel for repair. If I need healing I need to go back to the maker.
God says I want you completely
Mark 12:30-31 30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is no other commandment greater than these.
John 15:12
This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.
Get in His presence. God’s love language is quality time
Constant Connection to be with Him, to Know Him, to Hear Him. Start loving the way He wants you to love
III. CULTIVATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF
Think of being handcuffed to someone who completely makes you sick for 6 months. They are with you everywhere. How would this feel?
This is what you’re dealing with when the unhealthy you are handcuff with the healthy you
How can I break the chain of my negative self?
- Examine your self-talk: I, not this, I’m not that (Who am I in Him)
- Destroy thoughts with words. God spoke a word. Death and life are in the power of the tongue (google scriptures of who I am in Christ)
- Ask someone you trust: what are 5 things that you see good in me?
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord appeared from of old to me [Israel], saying, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.
Psalm 139:14
I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
Romans 8:37
Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us
III. CULTIVATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS.
Many have been rejected by those who suppose to love us, which makes many want to stay away from people.
Proverbs 3:5-6 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
The Lord gives the gift of discernment of who to connect with and not to connect with.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.
How to build Healthy Relationships?
- Make yourself friendly
- Engage in a hobby (Get out and do something)
- Don’t Gossip or Compete with and about others
- Manage and maintain healthy language (You draw what you are)
Loneliness is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. This can create dementia, heart disease, strokes
God never intended for us to live in isolation. Don’t navigate life alone. God has some reciprocity in place for you. Value and appreciate Healthy Relationships