More Qualities of the New Life

More Qualities of the New Life 

Colossians 3:18-4:6

Does our faith really matter in real life? Is our faith just something we talk about and participate in for a couple of hours on the weekend? Or is it truly transformational? 

True, biblical faith is transformational. 

But how so? What does it look like? 

We are to…

1. Strive for a Godly Home 

A Place of Refuge- 

Where there is calm and not chaos. 

Peace and not conflict. 

Rest and not work. (At least emotionally) 

A place of safety and refuge. Where the family can take cover from a crazy, chaotic, and sometimes hostile world. Where you know you are among people who are your biggest fans. 

I began to think about what characteristics could turn a home into a place of refuge. Or a team. Or a church. Or a company. Where everyone can thrive and reach their full potential. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12

9 Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. 10 For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? 12 And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

The three strands of a healthy family:

Unconditional love-

Unwavering support

Compassionate accountability 

-Unconditional love

In our culture, most view relationships through the “love if” lens. I will love you if….

That is a fundamental misunderstanding and misuse of the word love. 

Love, true love, is by its very nature unconditional. 

This is a love that stands against every obstacle, against every bad day, against every challenge. Love is not a feeling, love is a verb. Love is action. It is intentional. It is a choice. You must choose to love each other, every moment of every day. Love is given through word and deed, and it is given regardless of and sometimes in spite of the merit of the object of that love. That’s what makes it unconditional. 

Love is the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost.

It is only when I love God above all else that I will ever love the people around me well. At the foundational level, the difficulties in our marriages don’t come because we don’t love each other enough. The difficulties come because we don’t love God enough; and because we don’t love God enough we don’t treat each other with the kind of love that makes marriages work. 

Sturdy horizontal love always begins vertically. 

Again, keep in mind what love looks like practically: it is doing. Serving. Ministering. It involves feeling and it certainly involves words, but everything else is futile if love is not put into action. 

Unconditional love involves cherishing attitudes. 

-Unwavering support

What does support look like? 

The best way to think of support is providing whatever is needed until it is no longer needed.

Patient on a ventilator. The vent breathes for them until they can breathe on their own. 

I have a peach tree in my yard that started leaning. I drove a pole beside it to support it until it is strong enough to stand on it’s own. 

We support our kids until they are able to take care of themselves. 

Why provide unwavering support? Because you believe in what that person can be. And your support might be exactly what helps them become who they need to become. 

Unwavering support involves hopeful encouragement and affirmations. 

Our spouse and our children feel significant when we affirm them.

-Compassionate accountability 

Accountability offered in love and with grace.  If there is something that needs to be corrected so that your spouse is reaching his potential and fulfilling his purpose, lovingly discuss it with him, or her.

The kind of accountability we are using depends on what our motivation is. 

Ephesians 6:4

Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. 

How do we provoke our children to anger? 

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to be critical. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. But if a child lives with patience, he learns to be patient. If he lives with encouragement, he learns to have confidence. If he lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If he lives with fairness, he learns justice. If he lives with security, he learns to trust. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with love and acceptance, he learns to love. 

In raising kids, discipline has to be purposeful. 

2. Have an Attitude of Excellence 

Workplace- (slaves) Slavery was a given. Paul never worked to abolish it, that wasn’t his focus. His focus was the gospel. He taught masters to treat their workers well. 

If you are an employee…work well. Wholeheartedly. Show up. Show up on time. Be honest. Work hard. Have a good attitude. You are working for the Lord. Take your eyes off your boss and look to the Lord. 

If you are a boss- treat your people right. 

Whatever you do- a general command- strive for excellence. 

What if I’m being mistreated? The wrongdoer will be paid back. Built in protection. You do right. God will take care of those who don’t. 

3. Have a Kingdom Focused Heart 

a. Live in prayer 

Abiding prayer- for your own walk. 

Intercessory prayer- for others 

Kingdom prayer- evangelistically 

b. Live authentically 

Act wisely toward outsiders. The lost. They are watching. And they are listening. 

Our behavior should match our words. 

And our speech should be godly. Be kind. Be gracious. Be polite. Be nice. 

Seasoned with salt. Purifying, preserving, and flavorful. Let your speech always be gracious. Let your speech be always with the graciousness appropriate to those who live in a state of grace. You have received grace. Give grace. Live every moment in a state of grace. 

Based on your actions and your speech, would anybody want to know your Jesus? 

Think about how you act and talk most days. Could you at any moment say to those around you, let me tell you how Jesus has changed my life? Or would they laugh at you? 

Your reputation matters. 

Does your life bear these marks? If you know the Jesus Paul describes in chapter 1, you should bear the marks he describes in chapters 3 and 4. 

Not perfectly. But striving. Being transformed.