Community (Part 2 – The essence of community)

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Community – Part 2

(Part 2 – The Essence of Community)

Welcome back to Jesus Church: Here and Online

• Last week we started a new series on community
  • And how we believe that Community is God plan for his people
  • Over and over community is assumed in the scriptures
  • Particularly looking at the early church – life lived in community
• But we live in a world that is not all about community
  • Numbers at down 50% in any community requiring commitment
  • It’s not just church – b/c of that we are more lonely than ever
• And loneliness is a dangerous thing to allow in your life
  • It will kill you… and the culture around you
  • Because lonely people still congregate
    • They just do it in a very unhealthy way
    • Instead of unifying over love… it’s over hate
    • Instead of unifying over what for… its what against

And in the life of Jesus… his whole world revolved around his community

• Jesus didn’t have a disciple – He had disciples
  • And the group he had wasn’t conventional
  • They came from all over the 1^st century spectrum
  • From religious to sinner… from anti-gov to work for the gov
• And Jesus makes it very clear that to be in his community
  • There will be a cost
  • We don’t like to sacrifice… we don’t like to commit
• Jesus calls us to both – And the question we have to answer is…
  • If Jesus walked by and said “follow me”
  • Would I drop everything to follow him
  • Or would I say the cost is too great

Today we continue our journey into what community needs to be

Matt 12:46-50

While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you. He replied to him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” Point to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. [PRAY]

Story

A couple weeks ago I was asked to speak at a gathering

• I was really looking forward to it… had some great material to teach
  • And about half way into my teaching…
  • Things were going great
  • Tons of engagement… laughed at my jokes… lots of “AMENS”
• But then from the back of the room one of the hosts spoke up
  • Said “Aaron… your mom and sister are here… need to talk to you”
    • Now if my mom and sister come unannounced like that
    • I’m sure it was probably really important
• But you have to remember… my teaching was going really well
  • I was sorta in the zone
  • So I said back “Who is my Mother, and who is my sister”
  • “Here are my mother and sister and brother”

And I went on with my sermon – host help my family back to their car

• Now obviously that’s a made up story
  • But if that had happened… and you watched it happen
  • I’d imagine you’d be pretty put off by response to my family
• Probably find it difficult to jump right back into the teaching
  • Thinking about my mom and how she might feel
  • Probably re-evaluating me and what you really think of me
  • And it probably wouldn’t be very easy to let that go…

And in order to see what Jesus is doing in this story – Message here

• Have to start with the truth: Honestly this sounds super cold & rude
  • And don’t ignore that… press into it… ask the questions
  • Is this Jesus not caring about his family
  • Is he so focused he lashes out at an unforeseen interruption
  • Is Jesus annoyed and in a fight with his mom & siblings
• Or is Jesus saying and doing something amazing & profound
  • Something that is lost in translation of culture and time
  • Something so profoundly good – That in avoiding Jesus’ response
  • We miss a crucial part of the redemption story Jesus tells

And truth is this is a very important story – Recorded in Matt/Mark/Luke

• And being in all three synoptic Gospels puts it in exclusive company
  • Only 30 totally events/teachings combined found in all 3 gospels
  • And this is 2:1 because its an event AND teaching
  • Meaning in no way can we shrug our shoulders and move on
• In fact this was a moment the Gospel writers though so important
  • They all made sure it was recorded
  • Which just adds to the question: “Who is my mother & brothers”

TAG: What on earth does Jesus mean by this

To Start – Notice who Jesus considers his family

First: How does Jesus relate to God in the family dynamic… Father

• And what does Jesus calls apprentices: Brothers/Sisters/Mother
  • In Greek – Adelphoy (Used by Jesus and all NT writers)
  • To describe how we related to each other
  • Used 342 times just in the New Testament
• This is the main word to describe how community looks to Jesus
  • And of course… there are all kinds of communities
    • Fantasy football
    • Women’s Bible Study
    • Marriage
    • Cat lovers groups (should be recovery group)

For Jesus the type of community we are: Family

• And this idea we hear of Jesus and family sounds nice & sweet
  • BUT… Probably most radical teachings in the New Testament
  • One that pushed the line so far… led to his crucifixion
• To understand why that is… need a little context in 1^st cent. Culture
  • Won’t take very long – But it is necessary
  • And then we will bring it back together

2 things about culture Jesus grew up in

1: There is something called a collective and individual societies

• Jesus’ world was 100% a collective society

Theologain

In a collective society, a person sees themselves to be a member of a group and is responsible to the group for their actions. That includes all parts of life. The individual in accountable to the group and is only free to do what they wish if it is in line w/ group norms & only if the action is in the groups best interest. The group always has priority over individual members.

• • Some examples of these cultures: Korean… African… Arabic
  • Basically every culture in history except modern western culture
• Our culture today is considered individualistic
  • Where the individual always has priority over the group
  • Where personal preference is most important (Me 1^st mentality)
  • In fact if you’ve ever watched star trek
    • There’s only 1 main character from a collective society
    • And they literally make him an alien
    • Because it just doesn’t sound like planet Earth
• And for many it doesn’t just sound weird… it sounds oppressive
  • Because we have redefined the concept of freedom
    • Freedom now: Ability to do whatever I want when I want
    • But that’s not a 1^st century Christian view of freedom
• All that to say… Jesus world was a collective society
  • Primary group was your family

2. Family was all defined by the Father… not by marriage

• So your family went from father > son on the male side only
  • This is why there are no sur names in the Bible
  • Its this guy son of that guy… son of that guy… son of that guy
• Matters because this culture – Spouse technically not part of family
  • So marriage was arraigned… could still have love & romance
  • But marriage was more about what was best for group than you
• All to say… closest relational bond was with siblings not spouse
  • Same way we assume that closest relationship is with wife
  • Jesus day would assume closest relationship is with siblings
    • One example from literature – Marc Anthony & Octavia
    • Has to choose between lover and brother… choses brother
    • Because that would be your primary loyalty

Understanding this: What does Jesus call disciples: Brother/Sister/Mother

• The closest relationship you could have in his world
  • So Jesus is breaking the way society valued relationship
  • And says that those who follow God… greatest relationship
  • And this was absolutely radical in his day
• And Jesus wanting his community to function like a family
  • Wasn’t a new idea… Remember last week: Page 1

Gen. 1:26

The God said, “Let US make mankind in OUR image, in OUR likeness…

• We’re designed for relationship
  • The center of everything revolves around relational love of trinity
• So if God Himself exists in this web of relationships…
  • And Jesus himself calls God Father…
  • Then everything flows from that line of community

Gary Basheers – Multnomah Theologically Seminary

God is a family who makes family.

• God is love… and love cannot exist without relationship
  • We are created in God’s image and likeness
  • And thru that we are the overflow of God relational love
    • So we are created for relationship and family

Although none is its new (Genesis: In the beginning)

What WAS radical: Jesus is shattering the cultural norm of his society

• Jesus defines family not by an earthly father’s blood line
  • But by WHOVER DOES THE WILL OF MY FATHERS IN HEAVEN
  • And “WHOEVER” is a really big deal
• B/C if you think there’s racial tension today – Jesus’ world was worse
  • And what Jesus says is: Regardless of where you come from
  • You are welcome into the family of God… not just Jews
  • And this was one of the things that got Jesus killed
• In fact the specific event that got Jesus killed: Cleansing of temple
  • Look at the cleansing of the temple…
  • What Jesus says at the end of that story
  • This is what puts the nail in the coffin

Mk 11:17

My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations (ethnos), but you have made it a den of robbers.

• This was a quote from Isaiah saying you’ve lost the point of all of this
  • This place that brings God/humanity together isn’t just for you
  • It was never meant for that… but for all nations of the world
  • Israel was just supposed to be the catalyst for that

TAG: But what Jesus says: You don’t in Jerusalem and walk away alive

#2 thing which was even more radical in Jesus day

• Jesus call was to honor both community family & cultural family
  • When Jesus says: My brother & sister are those who do Gods will
    • In our world… that might not mean much
    • Family structure is so broken that we don’t blink an eye
• But Jesus is saying his blood family is part of a much bigger family
  • And that family is the most important
  • Doesn’t mean I neglect my kids b/c buddies wanna watch football
• There is still the concept of spiritual responsibility
  • You are responsible for your household
  • You have a duty to raise you children to know God

BUT often we read Jesus teachings 2 ways – Soapbox or Suitcase

• Jesus teachings about marriage… pro family… love we soapbox
  • Jesus teachings to reject father/mother to follow me… suitcase
  • Because we cherrypick what we wanna believe
• Jesus saying you have to give up idea that blood family is everything
  • In order to join this family that is for everyone
  • Because to God… both are non-negotiable

TAG: And again – That’s not easy to hear

Because that’s not how we grow up in the US

Yet this is the call of Jesus to us as a family (Who are my…)

• B/C we know who the father is… never a question on that being God
  • And to be a child of the father
  • Is to be brother/sister in the family
• Paul was always talking about adoption (and that’s legally binding)
  • If we adopted a little girl… wouldn’t just be our daughter
  • She would be Joey & Lyla’s sister
• And you don’t get a choice in that… family doesn’t pick
  • You can’t be in relationship with the father
  • And not be in relationship with the siblings

Way we should read text about adoption & justification (1^st century)

• It’s less about you being individually free from penalty of sin
  • More about you becoming part of the family of God
  • Its about the baptism from one family to a new family

1 Cor 6:12,14-15a

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything… and God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. (symbol of baptism) Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?

• So Paul is saying… sure I can do whatever I want
  • But my baptism is into a body of members… and a family of God
  • And b/c of that – The community is greater than the individual

With all that: What does this mean for us in community

First – Jesus vision of church for us in is that of a family

• We say this all the time… but for Jesus the church is simply a family
  • And that is how we are to operate in relationship
  • Think of basic practices of a healthy family
    • Spend time together… eat together
    • Look out for each other… forgive each other
    • Also hold each other accountable (discipline or intervention)
• All healthy family have healthy balance of acceptance/accountability
  • Family of Jesus is no different
  • All done in love with the goal of restoration
  • And both are needed in a healthy family
• Also healthy family bares each others burdens

Gal. 6:1-5 (ESV)

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (law of family). For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself (individualism). But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.

• Might sound contradictory… Burdens & Loads
  • This is the responsibility thing I was talking about before
  • B/C the picture was that a Roman military backpack
  • And soldier could anyone to carry his burden to next town
  • But that doesn’t mean his job is now your job
• If you are struggling with something and need some help
  • It’s the family’s responsibility to help walk YOU through that
  • But in no way should that transfer to my responsibility
    • I can help you if you need someone to watch your kids
    • But I am not and should not be their dad

Tag: These are all the pictures of life together in the family of Jesus

Unfortunately relationship is always under attack

Enemy tries to use this to keep you from relationship with God & others

• Ironically I think the emotion of loneliness shows intelligent design
  • Because at our core… truth is we are designed for relationship
  • We are born with longing to be in the lives of others
  • Fundamentally humans are relational beings..
• From time we’re in womb our brain is wired to be attached to people
  • Psychologists call this draw to relationship “attachment theory”
  • Starts with eye contact between mother and baby while feeding
• How we attach or don’t attach as a kid becomes part of who we are
  • It becomes the way attach or don’t attach in adult relationships
  • This is why kids in foster care need so much love
  • As well as any adult who felt that rejection as a child
    • So how we succeed/fail in adult relationships
    • Formed from a very young age

4 types of attachment that we see manifest in our lives

• Avoidance: Parents are consistently unavailable emotionally
  • And we pick up that we can’t trust others
    • As adults… any form of intimacy (romantic, friends, church)
    • We immediately push back because we feel there is no trust
  • It might be completely subconscious
    • But on a gut level we push back b/c we can’t trust others
    • So we have to stay away
• Anxious: Parents are consistently unreliable
  • Don’t grow the child’s sense of love from mom and dad
  • We pick up that we can’t trust ourselves
  • Become anxious in relationships: clingy/smother/codependent
    • Don’t have strong sense of self to love another
• Scattered: Parents unavailable and unreliable (worst of both worlds)
  • So we can’t trust other or ourselves
  • Can’t love or be loved
• Secured Attachment – Children well loved and parents available
  • Kids digest the idea that world is a good place
  • I can trust most people and myself
  • And these people tend to do better loving and being loved

Takeaway: Only way to heal unhealthy attachment style… relationships

• Because it all comes down to love and trust
  • If we don’t know how to love & trust other or ourselves as kids
  • It will bleed into a lack of ability to love & trust in God as adults
• And that’s not something you can read a book to fix
  • There’s no pill… an app… self awareness is big step…
  • But it doesn’t fix it – Only way to heal this part of our soul
    • Is a healthy loving relationship
    • Almost like God knows what he’s talking about

James Penbreaker: Research on trauma and effect on adult mental health

• Why do some people seem to recover and others never do
  • Started believing it would be trauma with shame (rape/suicide)
  • Found he was totally wrong… nature of trauma didn’t matter
• What mattered is if person effected was now in a loving relationship
  • If they had a family… community… support group
  • Almost everyone came back healthy regardless of type of trauma
• Because we are hurt at the deepest level by relationships
  • But we are healed at the deepest level by relationship

And why wouldn’t we be… you see it all makes sense

Healing is a regeneration of body and soul from sin and pain

• And in healthy Godly relationship… we regain what was lost
  • And in that space – We are healed
  • Why… because God is there

Heart behind Community: Bring healing and freedom to our souls